People who prefer to receive acts of service from partners love to be shown, rather than told, they’re cared for. People whose language is words of affirmation appreciate creativity too!) (Obviously, the more personalized and genuine the words, the better. Ways to show it: People with this love language might especially love receiving love notes, good morning/good night text messages, and frequent compliments.
These are people who also take insults deeply to heart, and arguments involving name-calling might be harder for them to get over.
Below, each of the five original love languages is described in detail.įor people whose love language is words of affirmation, words might actually speak louder than actions: These are people who love unsolicited compliments and pet names, and cherish hearing “I love you” more than most things, and even more so if they’re told the reasons why they’re loved. There are a number of online tests with which one can learn their love languages, though many people are able to identify theirs after reading about them. Though others have added upon the original five love languages, Chapman says the original five are comprehensive, and that every person has one primary love language and one secondary. Though Chapman doesn’t have a background in psychology, or sociology, it’s clear his ideas resonated - the book has sold hundreds of thousands of copies since coming out, and is often on the New York Times best-seller list. The basic idea is that everyone gives and receives love differently, but when we identify our (and our partner’s) “love languages,” we can bridge those gaps to form better relationships. The term “love languages” comes from a book called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, first published in 1992 by Gary Chapman, a pastor and talk-show host. If you’ve ever had an argument with a partner in which you discovered that you show and expect affection in totally distinct ways from each other, you’ve talked about love languages, whether you used those words or not.
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